NIPS*94 Top Ten List

[tesauro@watson.ibm.com]

By popular demand, here once again is the Top Ten List.
Thanks go to my comedy-writing collaborators, Mike Mozer
and Don Mathis of the Univ. of Colorado.
--Gerry Tesauro
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         Top 10 Little-Known Improvements to NIPS This Year

10.  No more of that annoying math!

 9.  To keep speakers on their toes, a gong at every table.

 8.  Special prize for "Most Laughable Poster"

 7.  Push pins available to everyone, not just to poster presenters.

 6.  Special evening session in which senior researchers
     display their surgical scars.

 5.  Hotel staff all licensed to back-propagate.

 4.  More rock, less talk.

 3.  Student volunteers at the registration desk will finally
     stop asking "You want fries with that?"

 2.  Invited speakers disqualified if they test positive
     for steroids.

 1.  Morgan Kaufmann to publish special "Swimsuit Edition"
     of conference proceedings.